Rape: Only Funny When You’re Either Libyan Or A Clown.

Hey, am I still doing this? Well, it does look that way.

Since it’s been a while since I posted I’ll just go ahead and rant about stuff I think matters but is rather old news now so you’ll be bored to tears. Yay! Let’s get it started, ha! Let’s get it started, in here!

First off, the Osama thingy. He’s dead.

Come out, man. I just want you to pull my finger.

Look! A tree!

Next up; some more recent stuff.  Can you believe this Gadafi guy? I mean, it was pretty clear he was out of his fucking mind but now it’s getting ridiculous. Any dictator with half a brain would have surrendered by now… it’s pretty clear the “rebels” are well armed and organized, plus the NATO forces are kind of a big deal. But Moamar has an ace up his sleeve, one that could turn the war around. Realizing that his enemies had control over the air he stated: “If they come to the ground, we will wait for them, but they are cowards, they will not dare”.

"And you don't want to find out what happens when you bring out the nukes!"

Your Black Hawks are no rival to the power of my pelvic thrust!

Of course they won’t dare, they are not FUCKING STUPID. Knowing this, he proceeded to unleash his ultimate weapon. Wait for it… rape! That’s right! Knowing that NATO forces controlled the air, he decided to order his troops to rape anything that breathes that happens to be so unfortunate to cross paths with them. Brilliant, fucking brilliant… ‘cause rape beats an air strike ANY GOD DAMNED TIME. He must be like the greatest military mind of all time.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot… happy father’s day! It’s gotta suck to share your day with the birthday of Garfield, though. I just hope your kids don’t relate you to the most unfunny, unoriginal, repetitive excuse for a comic strip of all time. “Hey, look! John came back from his date and he looks like he got dumped again! I’ll have some lasagna!” This son of a bitch makes Smallville look good. Back when Osama was alive all three were the most annoying things that refused to die. Looking back, I wish it was that fat cat who received a headshot.

For irony's sake, I hope it's stomach cancer.

Cancer: The unsung hero.

Pissed because it’s been so long since I posted? Ok, I’ll embarrass myself for you.

But I'll be back. With chloroform.

And just like that, the prey got away.

There’s this chick in a class at the uni that I’ve been hitting on for some weeks now and it’s going well. But on Thursday’s class as soon as the professor gave a 10 minutes break I went to her place at lightning speed to talk to her. I was being rather direct and I was happy with the direction the conversation was taking, but then I looked up and saw EVERY person in the class judging what I had been saying for the past 5 minutes… even the professor, who then was polite enough to ask if I needed more break time or I had landed her already. I didn’t know what to answer so he resumed his class so I had to take my seat three lines back. When you get cock-blocked by a professor, you know there’s something wrong there.

Of course I was what everyone was talking about during the rest of the class.

Well, at least I’m not this guy:

What you don’t see is that the hearse caught fire on its way to the funeral. And then the firefighters crashed their truck into the casket.

That’s all for today. All this rape got you down? Not to worry, I have the perfect thing for you! A song from Gang Gang Dance’s latest album! Ok… I realize this band’s name sounds like an euphemism for group rape so it might not be fitting… but I already wrote that and I’m too lazy to change it. So enjoy this cool song that will explode all over your face! Huh… not good either.

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About CR7

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well, fuck you. It's got nothing on mine. My mom threw me out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the prick next door who was always beating me and telling me I wasn't worth shit. It's not like I had a choice: the town I lived in only had like 9 people in it. I spent my adolesence moving around fighting people. But it gets worse. My only friend then was an asian guy in his 30s or something who was somewhat of a perv. The only perk was that I got to hang around with this cute ginger chick. She enjoyed beating me but I trust it was her way of caring. But dear God the bane of my existance was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know the types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other sentences? Yeah they were fucking creepers, and they had a cat, who was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the fuck up. Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time. The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a Pokemon master.
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3 Responses to Rape: Only Funny When You’re Either Libyan Or A Clown.

  1. Yeti says:

    fucking FINALLY.

    good Gang Gang choice too, probably my favorite track off the album right there.

    • CR7 says:

      It was so fucking hard to chose. I really love you for providing that album to me, it really is shaping up to be my AOTY.

  2. frutatedmeek says:

    How about a nice big cock?

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